Tiny but Mighty

I'm sorry I've I have had absolutely no time to update you ladies! The past couple days have been jam packed. I've either been driving, sleeping, or staring at my gorgeous baby girls. I was discharged from the hospital on Sunday. If you've never had to leave your child behind at the hospital you have no idea how it feels. It's not something that I can explain I words. It's like I was leaving three huge parts of me at the hospital. It was emotional and stressful to say the least. By the time I got home I had called the nicu at least 20 times (I'm not even exaggerating). It's a two hour car ride from our house to the hospital the girls are at and I bawled my eyes out the whole way home with Matt trying his best to calm me down. I just had to keep reminding myself that the hospital is where they need to be right now. They are in fantastic hands and I need to trust them. Emotional to say the least. We left at 5:00 am the next morning to go visit them and spent the whole day - minus lunch and dinner - just watching our amazing little girls. They are all doing so much better! 

Adeline has had a bit of a setback because she's been having reflux from the feeding tube so the switched her back to IV nutrient on Sunday but today she was able to handle the feeding tube again! Because of her jaundice she stills spends most of her time in the tanning bed. 

Eloise is getting a lot stronger and is using only the feeding tube. She hasn't showed any signs of reflux yet thankfully! She now has jaundice so she also spends some time tanning. 

Now Olivia, our dear sweet little Olivia is getting stronger! Just this morning we were told her infection is gone!! I cried when the doctor told us she was all clear. All three girls are still on the vent but Livi will probably be on longer than Addie and Ellie because of the setback with the lung infection. She looks picker than she ever has and just all around healthier. 

Both Matt and I have gotten to hold Adeline for a bedding change. I've only held Eloise the once and we've only been able to touch Olivia's tiny little hand a couple times. Adeline's heart rate stabilized both times Matt and I held her for a few minutes. One of the nurses said when she comes off the vent kangaroo care (chest to chest holding baby) will most likely benefit her greatly. I can not wait for that! I'm so elated lately its hard to stop smile! Now Matt and I are just trying to balance our time with visiting each baby in the NICU and all of our home duties too. We're are very busy but I will try and update again soon!

Balancing The Ups & Downs

I've had a couple complications with my health. On Wednesday morning my blood pressure shot back up to 178/110 and my doctor was quite concerned. And my blood work showed odd liver counts. He put me on complete strict bed rest to help lower it and have me a bp medication. I also asked him for something to help me sleep because I had not been sleeping at all since the girls were born. I'm feeling much better now but he's keeping me until at least tomorrow to monitor my liver and just to make sure my bp is staying down.

It's been a whirlwind couple of days. Adeline has been able to be out on a feeding tube with my breast milk instead of just IV nutrients. Her PDA closed after two rounds of medication and she's gained 3 ounces! putting her at 1 pound and 2 ounces over and above her birth weight! She has severe jaundice so spends most of her time in the tanning beds. Haha. I got to touch her tiny little hand for a minute on Wednesday and cried like I've never cried before. There are no words for the feeling I felt.

Eloise had to have surgery on her PDA because after two rounds of medication it was still not closed. She is doing better but still very weak and fragile. She was able to be on the feeding tube also but is still requiring some IV nurtrient supplement. She has gained back 1 ounce putting her at 1 pound 5 ounces. I got to hold Ellie during a bedding change this morning and again balled my eyes out the entire time. I can't explain how amazing it felt to hold my sweet little girl.

And last but not least our poor sweet little Olivia is still holding on. She still has the infection and is on the antibiotics. We're praying for the best but preparing for the worst. She is still on strictly IV nutrients and has lost another 2 ounces putting her at just 15 ounces. It's the hardest thing in the world to see your baby so sick. I want to be extatic about the strides Addie and Ellie are making but my sweet little Olivia is so sick it's hard to celebrate anything. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers and know that we appreciate and are very thankful for every prayer you say for us and our girls. I'll try and update again soon.

Adeline, Eloise, and Olivia

Here's the updates since the girls arrived:

UPDATE # 1 (Sunday night) 

The girls are here and they are fighters! I don't know everything about them yet just weights and names. Baby A - Adeline - 1 pound Baby B - Eloise - 1 pound 7 ounces Baby C - Olivia - 1 pound 4 ounces I'm told they are tiny but mighty. I haven't seen them yet because they are waiting for my blood pressure to come down before they move me. I'll post more when I know more.

UPDATE#2 (Monday morning)

I got to see the girls last night at 11 when my bp had finally come down a bit. The nurses kept telling me just to try and rest but I finally convinced then that there was no possibility of that until I see my babies. They are tiny. It was a bitter sweet moment seeing them for the first time. It was amazing to look at them and know that they are here and alive against all odds. But then again they are sick little girls. They have cords and tubes coming from everywhere and there's machines beeping and buzzing and thumping. They are too sensitive to be touched which is the hardest part other than seeing them hooked up to everything. It was overwhelming to say the least. I've been pretty emotional this morning. Hormones probably. I'm sore and tired even though I did get a bit of sleep after visiting. I'm trying to stay strong for my girls though. I'm hopefully going down there again later this morning. I'll update again when I can. Please keep thinking of us and praying for our girls.

UPDATE #3 (Monday night)

I got to spend a lot more time with my girls this morning/afternoon. I'm so emotional I cried almost the whole time. All of them are so teeny tiny it's hard to believe. When you think of your babies you're expecting a plump newborn that cries and poops and opens their eyes but with preemies that's not the case. I don't know what I was expecting to see when I visit them. This all feels like a really bad dream I'm going to wake up from. I met the neonatologist here and he's said this is going to be a very long road. We have some pretty sick little girls. Adeline (Baby A) is now only 15 ounces, Eloise (Baby B) has lost 2 ounces (now 1 lb 5 oz) and Olivia (Baby C) has stayed at 1 lb 4oz. They are all on ventilaters and will be for weeks to come. It's scary to think of the road we have ahead of us but we're taking it one day at a time right now.

UPDATE #4 (Tues Night)

Been quite a rough day today for both the girls and me.We'll start with me - I've barely slept since the girls were born. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. I'm beyond sore everywhere. I'm so emotional I haven't stopped crying since Sunday. Now the girls - Adeline has a small whole in her heart, called a PDA. They are treating it with medication but if it does not close up they will have to do surgery. I am not taking that well. How is my less then a pound baby suppose to survive through surgery? Her breathing is quite laboured still. She's remained at 15 ounces today. Eloise also has a whole in her heart but her's is larger. They are treating her with the same medicine but it's more likely that she will have to have surgery. Again, I'm not okay with my little girl having surgery. She has lost another ounce and is now at 1 pound 4 ounces. Olivia now has a lung infection and is in critical condition. They are treating her with antibiotics but have told us to prepare for the worst. She's lost 3 ounces today and is now only 1 pound 1 ounce. Very stressful day today. I'm numb from crying so much and I need a long rest but every time I close my eyes I can't fall asleep. DH has taken a couple weeks off from work so he's here which has made a difference. 

Delivery

Doctor just visited and my blood pressure has sky rocketed to 192/112. He's not waiting anymore. We're delivering in an hour. He's getting the team together and were going in ASAP. This morning the babies were all measuring just under or just over 24 weeks. Please keep thinking of us and praying. I'll update when I can.

Where Do I Begin?

I need to get on this blog thing. I'm seriously lacking lately and I don't even have a good excuse other than I've been so fucking exhausted. Well you know growing three humans inside you does take a lot of work. I deserve a cookie. No dammit I deserve 50 cookies.

Well I'm in the hospital now. On bed rest. Strict. Bed. Rest. Lets quote one of my first posts... *que flash back music* ... "This is a very big deal for me. I hate, let me repeat for exaggeration, hate having people take care of me. It's my number one pet peeve. Sure, it sounds great to lay in bed all day but not being able to do anything for myself would put me over the edge and I'd have to be admitted to the mental ward." Let us repeat that one more time for emphasis. I HATE PEOPLE TAKING CARE OF ME. And I'm only allowed to get out of bed to pee and even then I have to call a nurse to untangle me from the millions of cords I have attached to every bodily orifice. They may as well call the psych ward and book me a room with a window because I'm going to be there soon enough.

I'm locked up because of my dumbass blood pressure. I know, just give me a pill or a shot and send me home. WRONG. That doesn't work. I had a check up with my OB on Tuesday and and he sent me to the hospital because he didn't like my bp (bp means blood pressure. Being in the hospital has really uped my medical lingo) levels. Well your's wouldn't be so hot either if you had three people inside you doc. I was admitted and my bp kept steady all through the night into early Wednesday morning. Then it started rising again. That's when they transferred me to another, bigger, more high tech, fancier hospital that would be able to take care of the babies if they need to get borned sooner rather than later. It's stayed around 162/90ish all yesterday and today. They've given me mess to try and bring it down more but they ain't working. I also did a 24 hour urine test to check for pre-eclampsia. I should hear those results tomorrow morning.

I'm absolutely miserable. *warning these are the words of Holly's evil pregnant, hormonal twin sister Dolly. She's a bitch really* It's fucking freezing in this room. The lady down the hall is boiling hot dogs in her room I swear and it's making me so nauseous I can't eat anything. My nurse on shift right now is a meanie. My eyes are so swollen from crying because I'm stuck in this dumbass mother fucking hospital bed. My feet are beyond swollen. My back and legs are killing me from not moving for days. I just want to paint my nails. And I'm having a mental breakdown. I don't know how I'm going to last another day let alone weeks in this room.

The Verdict Is In!

We found out this morning that we are going to be the parents of three babies girls! Yep, that's right three girls! There's going to be a lot of pink, frills, and estrogen in my house I can feel it already. Matt's going to register for a shotgun later this week.

Spilling the Beans

Because of my lapse in blogging I never posted how we told our families and friends about the babies. So now I get to share with you how I came up with the ideas all by myself LOL yeah right I would like to thank google and YouTube for the ideas.

I'll start off with his parents and siblings. We had them all over for dinner. I suggested that we haven't had a family picture in awhile and I needed a new one for the wall. They gathered around and I stood to take the picture. So I go to take the picture and Matt says "everybody say... Holly's pregnant!" Every jaw in the room dropped and gasps were all that were heard. After what seemed like an hour everybody final clued into what he said and was ecstatic. We were hugged and tears were shed. Then I told them I needed a real family picture and to gather back around. Everybody posed and this time Matt said "everybody say... With triplets!" The reactions were priceless. Everybody screamed and cried. Even I cried (hormones, it was all the hormones). They did not believe us (naturally.... I don't even still believe it!). It was a fantastic surprise!

We told my grandparents and one of my close aunts when we were over at my grandparents houses for dinner. I got up and simply said "you know, you guys are such amazing grandparents we decided to make you great-grandparents!" It took a second to register I think but finally my grandpa smiled and said "wait, you're pregnant?!" I nodded and everybody erupted with laughs and screams. Then Matt said "but wait don't you guys want to see a picture?" I pulled the ultrasound out of my purse and on it printed was "ITS TRIPLETS!!!" My grandma was the first one to realize what is said and she started crying right away, which made my grandpa ask what? She showed him and he started crying too which made my cry hard! I've never been an emotional person, what are these babies doing to me?

Anyway, those are our stories! I thought they were well planned and executed perfectly *brushes shoulder*. Everybody is super excited which makes me super excited one minutes then I came to my senses and remember that I'm having three freaking human beings, then I have a panic attack and when I finally calm down I start again.

We have an appointment with the perinatologist again tomorrow to check dee babes and make sure they're getting fatter. We are also going to find out the genders tomorrow and y'all will be the first to hear! I know you'll be waiting refreshing the page minute by minutes waiting for an update ;)