Wednesday 30 January 2013

Saying Goodbye

"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it" – Unknown

This quote has hit me hard the past few weeks. My mom has passed away. She had brain cancer and had stopped responding to radiation. Her doctor had given her 6 months and she had made it almost 8. We knew it was going to happen but when the time came it still felt too soon. I did get to say goodbye and it was a good closure but it still hurts knowing she's not a phone call away.

I need to mention though that I did get to tell her about the babies. My aunt and I were by her side when she was in the hospital and when my aunt went to go get coffee or use the washroom or something I took the chance to tell my mom about the babies. I simply said, "guess what? I'm pregnant" she had lost her ability to speak thanks to the cancer but I could see in her eyes she knew what I said. She smiled and her eyes sparkled. Then I said, "and you're not going to believe this but it's triplets... there's three babies!" A look of panic came across her face and when she calmed down she smiled again. I told her more about the pregnancy and all that jazz before my aunt came back.

She passed away that night in her sleep with us by her side. It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks getting her will sorted and estate settled. It's been stressful and busy trying to settle everything, grieve, eat, sleep, and remembering to take care of myself and the babies.

Speaking of the babies, they're still hanging in! All three of them. Three. That still feels unreal. I'm 11 weeks already. With everything that's going on this feels like it's going by faster than I thought it would. The nausea had come back a little bit but I don't have time to think about it. My doctor is making me drink these Boost shakes that are packed with healthy things. He's a little worried because I've lost about 9 pounds so far. Hopefully when next trimester comes this nausea thing will go away. I have an appointment with my doctor next Tuesday (12 weeks) and an appointment with the perinatologist the following Monday (almost 13 weeks).

I'll try and keep y'all posted!

Monday 14 January 2013

THAT Smell

Okay, first I have to start with - I love my job. I absolutely, completely, whole heartily love my job. I work in a nursing home as a recreation coordinator, which basically means I play games with the elderly. I love my job... when I'm not pregnant.

My pregnancy nose is on high alert and I can smell everything. For example I'm pretty sure this morning our neighbours four doors up had bacon, eggs and French toast for breakfast. Yeah, it's that good. Don't cha wish you're nose could smell like mine. Do do do 🎶. Okay focus Holly. Where was I? Oh right, the smells at work. I'm sure you're all aware that the elderly don't smell beautimous (if you understand the reference there you get 10 points). Well my pregnancy super smelling powers + the beautimous aroma of the dear sweet elderly = a very angry stomach. It's horrible. I was doing so well this morning. Before I got up I shoved some saltines down my throat and wasn't sick at all I got to work and got up to the floor and boom puke everywhere. Okay not everywhere, I've learned how to aim but I had to make it somewhat dramatic. I'm pretty sure at least two of the girls I work with know I'm knocked up of course they won't say anything but I'm not hiding it very well while in the middle of bingo I have to run to the bathroom like I ate a a shotty Mexican food place.

*sigh* I guess they're going to find out sooner or later, right?

Sunday 13 January 2013

I Can Eat!

Update: I CAN EAT! WOHOOOOOOOO! I haven't thrown up at all today! I got up and without even getting my head off the pillow and stuck four crackers in my mouth. My initial reaction was to pull them back out and puke but I choked them down and actually felt okay! Yay! Go Holly! Are you getting sick of all the exclamation points yet?! Woooo!

So now what do I want to eat? Lays salt and vinegar chips. What? I hate salt and vinegar anything but right now that's all I can think about. I sent Matt put to get some and he's not back yet. Seriously, we live like five minutes away from the store how long does it take to grab the chips pay for them and leave? Oh shit is my bitchy hormonal pregnant lady side showing? Fuck.

He's back! Woohoo! Gotta go get me some chips! Okay, Holly enough exclamation points.

Saturday 12 January 2013

Doctor Appointment Número 1

**warning I'm writing this from my phone so I make no promises on how it will look**

The 'triplets' and I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. Everything went well. My doctor is still hooked on this whole 'triplets' thing though. I asked if he would do another ultrasound and he said not then but he did give me more information about these human beings growing in my uterus.

He said that because they are all sharing one placenta there could be complications down the road but not to worry he'd be monitoring me very closely. Also he's sending me to a perinatologist, which did you know? is a doctor specializing in high risk pregnancies? Wow, you learn something knew every day! Now I'm just waiting for his/her office to call with an appointment. My OB said that I will be seeing mainly him unless something happens along the way that I need the perinatologist. I asked him that if they only have one placenta it means they are identical? He answered with the chances of them being identical are very high. The only chance they would be fraternal would be if the placentas fused together but the chance of that this early in pregnancy and with three are very slim. Everywhere I read it give me a different number as to how common identical triplets are, some say 1 in 60,000 and some say 1 in 2,000,000.

I also asked him about bed rest. This is a very big deal for me. I hate, let me repeat for exaggeration, hate having people take care of me. It's my number one pet peeve. Sure, it sounds great to lay in bed all day but not being able to do anything for myself would put me over the edge and I'd have to be admitted to the mental ward. He said at some point during the pregnancy I will most likely have to be on some kind of bed rest. Whether it's 10 weeks or 35 weeks depends on if anything goes wrong. He told me that if I take it easy (ex. no bungee jumping, marathons, skydiving) I should make it pretty far without being on bed rest. That is if nothing else goes wrong that's out of my control.

Another one of my billion questions was, when should I expect to deliver? I mean I know my 40 week due date is August 20th but triplets go before that, right? He said normally triplets are delivered 32/33 weeks but he's had a patient go to 36.5 weeks with triplets. That lady is my hero. But then again if something happens I could deliver as early as 24 weeks and the babies would still be viable but at 24 weeks they have a 50% chance of survival and babies that do survive are at risk for life long term effects.

Then came the big topic. Reduction. As much as I seem like I don't think we can take care of triplets reduction is not an option for us. Not for religious reasons. Not for political reasons. Not even for moral reasons. If we were to reduce the risk to the other babies is too high and not a risk we're willing to take. And how would we choose who to reduce? I've read it's the baby closest. That's how each baby's fate is decided? Whoever gets the room closest gets reduced? How is that fare? I'm going to get deep for a second hold onto your seats ladies and gents. I'm am pro choice. If that's a choice you can make for yourself by all means go for it. Just make sure you learn your lesson and don't do it again. I don't think the government should tell a woman what to do with her body. But that being said it is choice I could never make. I could never say to someone, 'yes okay kill my baby, kill something I have created.'

Okay that's enough deep thoughts with Holly for today! Overall it was a good appointment and a lot if my questions were answered. My OB is awesome and not to mention really good looking. He didn't rush me or give me shit answers ever. Awesome doctor!

Friday 11 January 2013

Triplets? What's That?

Let's start with the boring stuff - My name is Holly I'm married to Matt, have been for 4 years. He's awesome and the love of my life and all that jazz blah blah blah. We were having fun you know travelling, seeing the seven wonders of the world. I'm just kidding. We just bought a house. You think we can afford that? 

Now for the not so boring stuff - We are going to have a baby triplets. Wait, what? Triplets? No. I did not read that right. Triplets means three babies. I'm not having three babies. Nope. Not happening. Sorry wrong person. There are not three babies in my stomach. I am not having triplets. Wait, what is this you tell me? I am having three babies? No, no that can't be right. Are you sure you counted right? Three? I'll believe it when I see it. 

Yeah, I'm a little lot in denial about this whole triplet thing. Matt thinks it's awesome and has had rainbows, puppies and unicorns flying out his ass. He's not the one that's going to get fat and swollen and who's not going to be able to sleep on her stomach and is grumpy all the time and pukes her guts out every 10 minutes and who is a really good complainer. That's me. Yes, me. I'm a really good complainer. Just a warning. 

I decided to make this blog so in five years we can look back and see how nervous we were we can look at our three little bundles of joy and see where it all started from when I wake up I'll be able to read this back and laugh my ass off. 

Seriously. I am not believing this triplet crap.