Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Saying Goodbye

"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it" – Unknown

This quote has hit me hard the past few weeks. My mom has passed away. She had brain cancer and had stopped responding to radiation. Her doctor had given her 6 months and she had made it almost 8. We knew it was going to happen but when the time came it still felt too soon. I did get to say goodbye and it was a good closure but it still hurts knowing she's not a phone call away.

I need to mention though that I did get to tell her about the babies. My aunt and I were by her side when she was in the hospital and when my aunt went to go get coffee or use the washroom or something I took the chance to tell my mom about the babies. I simply said, "guess what? I'm pregnant" she had lost her ability to speak thanks to the cancer but I could see in her eyes she knew what I said. She smiled and her eyes sparkled. Then I said, "and you're not going to believe this but it's triplets... there's three babies!" A look of panic came across her face and when she calmed down she smiled again. I told her more about the pregnancy and all that jazz before my aunt came back.

She passed away that night in her sleep with us by her side. It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks getting her will sorted and estate settled. It's been stressful and busy trying to settle everything, grieve, eat, sleep, and remembering to take care of myself and the babies.

Speaking of the babies, they're still hanging in! All three of them. Three. That still feels unreal. I'm 11 weeks already. With everything that's going on this feels like it's going by faster than I thought it would. The nausea had come back a little bit but I don't have time to think about it. My doctor is making me drink these Boost shakes that are packed with healthy things. He's a little worried because I've lost about 9 pounds so far. Hopefully when next trimester comes this nausea thing will go away. I have an appointment with my doctor next Tuesday (12 weeks) and an appointment with the perinatologist the following Monday (almost 13 weeks).

I'll try and keep y'all posted!

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